[QUOTE="Clemson's like a redneck floozy flashing her 3-carat diamond. She thinks its beautiful but you don't even need a loop to see the occlusions. A constantly-hyped 'White Diamond' smelly wannabe chubbette in 'come-hither' 5-inch hooker shoes trying to impress in a classic, simple black dress Chanel No. 5 world.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Man, I'm sorry but I'm stealing that. That is beyond awesome.
http://data:image/jpeg;base64,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[/QUOTE]
You are welcome to it, my brother ... some advice on how to make it work for you.
Troll that Hooters out by I-85 outside of Clemson and strike up a conversation with the best-looking redneck woman in the place (they'll all have at least a smigen of a jowl - but look past it). some of 'em are 'only child's' (for years upstate OBGYN doctors, as a gift to humanity - have often 'worked in' an unannounced procedure to keep such 'occurrences' from occurring again) thus no older brothers to work around ... and if she's at least 20-years old chances are PRETTY decent that 'daddy's' already had at least one 'medical' scare - PROBE, they'll testify.
Assess the size of papa's farm and what his 'head-count' is normally whenever hauling hogs to the Smithfield slaughter plant up in Tarboro, NC ... and inquire if he's hauling 'pigs' or hogs - I know you'd think there's no difference just looking at the gal you're talking to, but there is.
Invite her to an auto-show and show up, you might enjoy it - I always did.
Find an old Buick Electra 225, preferably something from the early 70's and get her in the back seat. It's not quite a 'king' but it's easily comparable to a queen size mattress.
Show her one of those 3-carat rings that are 'bout half carbon and HOLD ON.
Within about a week you'll be looking at 'inheriting' several hundred acres (and TRYING to keep her momma from getting in the shower with you). HOLD OUT on that until you've got the Deed in-hand.
List the farm on loop-net 'commercial' and go visit her 'aunt'. She'll be older, but probably not much past her early 30's. Rinse and repeat.
Good luck to you.