OT: Looking for a Good Divorce Attorney

[Cockish]

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[coolcock2001]

Best in Cola IMO

Who We Are

McLaren & Lee is a law firm of skilled and experienced attorneys with almost 70 years of combined experience in the areas of complex marital and family law litigation and trial work including marital and prenuptial agreements, divorce, annulment, alimony, property and debt division, child...

www.mclarenandlee.com

 

[titaniumspur]

There are some pretty sharp attorneys who post on here, hopefully they will weigh in. But my advice would be to at least meet with another attorney to talk through the situation. There very well could be other things your first attorney missed since you are already seeing things you don’t like.

 

[Gamecockdvw]

Count your losses. Do you really want it to be known to your son that you went to court to argue down your child support payments for him? It's only 3 years and you're getting ready to retire. Either you're in a position financially to do both, or I would just keep working until I didn't have to pay child support. Seems like you're in a no win situation here, unfortunately. Good luck.

 

[cocks rule]

Count your losses. Do you really want it to be known to your son that you went to court to argue down your child support payments for him? It's only 3 years and you're getting ready to retire. Either you're in a position financially to do both, or I would just keep working until I didn't have to pay child support. Seems like you're in a no win situation here, unfortunately. Good luck.

Go with your gut. It’ll never steer you wrong.

 

[Blackland]

Count your losses. Do you really want it to be known to your son that you went to court to argue down your child support payments for him? It's only 3 years and you're getting ready to retire. Either you're in a position financially to do both, or I would just keep working until I didn't have to pay child support. Seems like you're in a no win situation here, unfortunately. Good luck.

When my oldest child went off to college my ex said I was not paying enough child support and instead of reducing what I was paying for two kids she tried to get it doubled. I found a really good attorney and he discovered that she never had our mediation document signed off by the judge. She is an attorney who represented herself. So instead of getting more money her child support went back to a much lower amount that was in effect when I made much less money. The one the judge originally signed off on, LOL.

So get the best attorney you can and fight for every penny. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are still supporting your child just as I am (in spite of the money I pay the ex I still end up buying his clothes, sports equipment, car, etc... because she spends the child support on herself). My son knows the deal. Yours will too!

 

[Cockish]

Count your losses. Do you really want it to be known to your son that you went to court to argue down your child support payments for him? It's only 3 years and you're getting ready to retire. Either you're in a position financially to do both, or I would just keep working until I didn't have to pay child support. Seems like you're in a no win situation here, unfortunately. Good luck.

Not so much worried about my son's perception of things since I've consistently supported him and have been there for him the entire time. He's also complacent about the whole situation and has been the entire time. Thanks for the good luck wishes.

 

[Cockish]

When my oldest child went off to college my ex said I was not paying enough child support and instead of reducing what I was paying for two kids she tried to get it doubled. I found a really good attorney and he discovered that she never had our mediation document signed off by the judge. She is an attorney who represented herself. So instead of getting more money her child support went back to a much lower amount that was in effect when I made much less money. The one the judge originally signed off on, LOL.

So get the best attorney you can and fight for every penny. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are still supporting your child just as I am (in spite of the money I pay the ex I still end up buying his clothes, sports equipment, car, etc... because she spends the child support on herself). My son knows the deal. Yours will too!

My gut/experience is telling me that my current attorney has missed on somethings and/or wasn't willing to risk losing what otherwise would be a win/win for him.

 

[gamecockengineer2011]

When it comes to child support there is a calculation tool that the state of SC follows. If your child support is in line with that you're wasting money fighting it. If its only for three years, suck it up and support your kid.

If your ex-wife is trying to rake you over the coals for alimony or getting you to pay for her legal fees, that might be a different issue. Men who are higher earners get totally ****ed in divorces that involve children. Also, word to the wise everyone loses in the divorce except the attorneys. The more you can work out yourself between you and your ex, the better off you both will be.

I used Dan Sullivan for my divorce. I feel like he was honest with me about things and helped guide me towards doing mediation and settling out of court. In retrospect, for my situation this was 100% the best thing despite the emotional aspect.

The Sullivan Firm, LLC – Columbia and Lexington, South Carolina, Family Law Attorney

Family, divorce, accident and criminal lawyers in Columbia, South Carolina. Serving the region for more than 20 years.

sullivanfirmsc.com

Good luck and please take care of your mental health.

 

[usc nichols]

Best in Cola IMO

Who We Are

McLaren & Lee is a law firm of skilled and experienced attorneys with almost 70 years of combined experience in the areas of complex marital and family law litigation and trial work including marital and prenuptial agreements, divorce, annulment, alimony, property and debt division, child...

www.mclarenandlee.com

Dixon Lee was my ex's attorn.I wish I had had him.

 

[The Coup Nazi]

When my ex and I were in our divorce hearing the Judge asked me if I wanted a divorce. I told him that I did. He then asked, “Why?” I told him that I couldn’t take it anymore. Night after night she was running from bar to bar to bar, and I couldn’t bear that kind of constant pressure. The Judge then asked me why she was doing that. Apparently “she was looking for me” wasn’t my best answer.

 

[king ward]

I

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

I have been blessed not to ever need a divorce attorney, but I have had to engage an attorney to help with a civil matter, and I found a good one. All I'll say is that your instinct is correct. Lawyers demand too much money to be lazy. Find one that relieves any worries you might have on that score.

 

[chief2791]

Also, word to the wise everyone loses in the divorce except the attorneys. The more you can work out yourself between you and your ex, the better off you both will be.

Man, this right here. With my ex and I sat down one evening and within an hour we had split everything that we had. I had to give some, she had to give some. Saved both of us time and money. You just have to realize it's either going to be split between you or someone else is going to do it. Someone else doesn't know what's important and what isn't, and they're going to charge you to do it, all because 2 adults can't be mature enough to sit down, hash it out, get it done. All that our divorce lawyers did was file the necessary paperwork.

 

[Blackland]

My gut/experience is telling me that my current attorney has missed on somethings and/or wasn't willing to risk losing what otherwise would be a win/win for him.

Mediation, gets real expensive really fast with your $500/hr attorney plus $400/hr mediator. If it is going nowhere bail out. Yes child support is calculated based on a formula. One problem can be if a lot of your income is based on a bonus that can fluctuate year to year. If you can pay alimony instead of child support do it, your ex will have to pay the tax on alimony but you pay the tax on child support.

 

[USCBatgirl21]

SC is a mandatory ADR (Mediation) state.
If you can't work it out between each other, you will have to go to mediation.

The best bet is to take your current Order and get a few opinions on it. Then go from there. They can probably run a quick calculation through Traxlers (the Child Support calculator) during the consult to give you a ballpark idea of how things may/may not change.

As for the QDRO start date, it should not be any date earlier than the date of marriage.

 

[cocks rule]

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

Don’t get a lawyer just liquidate all assets, pack a duffel bag and head to the Application Trail. Happy trails!!

 

[sickoftryingtothinkofausername]

Best advice I can give was advice that was told to me: child support is the f—king you get for the f—king you got.

The stereotype that men usually get screwed in divorce isn’t really a stereotype, it’s a fact. I also work with the state and I guy I work with got divorced. He has more than enough time to retire but refuses to do so until all his kids are over 18 because he said his wife will get more of his retirement if he retires before they’re 18. Don’t know how that works, but that may be something worth asking. If so, maybe you shouldn’t retire until the kid is over 18.

fortunately I’ve never had to worry about divorce because I’m such a peach to live with, my wife would be a fool to ever dream of leaving me.

 

[Gamecockben1979]

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

Been through divorce and it sucks. I was fortunate enough to negotiate that my ex not touch my retirement. Ironically one of the few things I could negotiate with the heffer.

The problem you run into here is the cost/benefit analysis. Is the divorce settlement a good one you are comfortable with? If so, is it really worth hiring a new attorney this late in the game? If not, you can try to negotiate and spend a bunch of money on a new lawyer, but just realize it could be all for nothing.

I doubt that child support is going to be reduced much if at all. As another poster stated, that’s really calculated and pretty cut and dry.

The other factor is how are things with you and your ex. Mine wanted the divorce, then decided she wanted me back, then got pissed when I rejected her and there was very little wiggle room for negotiation. If she is open to negotiation, have the talk. Be prepared to give something up in return though. If she’s not, then that’s another door that is shut.

Good luck brother and I echo the other poster that said take care of your mental health. The sad reality is financially I would have been better off going to prison then marrying my ex wife.

Fortunately for me, I married up the second time and I’m in a much better place financially then I ever was in marriage one. It takes time, but you can build back stronger than before.

 

[ToddFlanders]

When I saw the headline I thought Urban Meyer was posting on this board.

 

[king ward]

When I saw the headline I thought Urban Meyer was posting on this board.

That boy needs to go back into retirement and see if he can get some things straightened out.

 

[Thirdcatgy]

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

You might want to switch up. This is not a complex divorce and these are basic requests/motions that should be easily handled.

Forgot about finding the best attorney money can buy. Just find a competent one who isn't lazy and/or overleveraged.

 

[Scuba_do]

I am looking to retire in a year or so and have a QDRO in place (ex gets 40%...ugh) with the State Retirement System. I'm also paying child support until my son turns 18 in about 3 years.

I'm not satisfied with my current attorney who handled my divorce back in 2015 because I believe he's somewhat passive and has, IMO, missed on some things (e.g., never advised me to seek first right of refusal when my divorce went through Mediation, he did not specify a beginning date for the QDRO to apply, etc.). And now, I'm not so sure that he could successfully argue a post-divorce modification for a reduction in child support if I retired. Should I stick with him since things are winding up or count my losses and move on with someone else who could better represent my interests?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated.

I say postpone your divorce and continue with your child support obligations for the next 3 years, then retire. The money you save on not hiring an attorney may offset the difference in Child Support. Besides, I was a single parent for 5 years and know full well how expensive it is to support a high school student.

 

[section907]

It’s cheaper to to keep her. Make it work if u can. ( ps. I couldn’t ) Don’t waste money on greedy attorneys. Do what u can now to make both sides work without one. Whatever it cost should be less then what you both will pay to attorneys.

plus. Sounds like the kids is still young. U can count or should brace for that payment going up in a few years. Another reason to work it out now. What county are u in ?

 

[Wishaway]

Look for attorneys who specialize in divorce and have a track record of successfully handling cases similar to yours. Don't hesitate to schedule consultations with multiple attorneys to find the best fit for your needs. And remember, your peace of mind is worth prioritizing. For additional guidance, you can check out this helpful guide at https://divorcejury.com/, and consider reaching out to reputable attorneys in your area for personalized advice. Good luck!

 

[Gamecock Jacque]

Look for attorneys who specialize in divorce and have a track record of successfully handling cases similar to yours. Don't hesitate to schedule consultations with multiple attorneys to find the best fit for your needs. And remember, your peace of mind is worth prioritizing.

It's been 3 years. He may have been divorced twice by now.

 

[Cybercock]

It's been 3 years. He may have been divorced twice by now.

Seems to have that history. 🤣

 

[cockn'fyr]

Man, I feel for the guys in this thread, very informative.

Luckily I found the perfect mate the first time! I'm not sure people realize it's the biggest decision you'll ever make when you're tying the knot!

 

[DeeDave]

Man, I feel for the guys in this thread, very informative.

Luckily I found the perfect mate the first time! I'm not sure people realize it's the biggest decision you'll ever make when you're tying the knot!

No kidding. Lots of failed marriages out there.

What I find hilarious is the folks on tv and social media giving other people life advice who are on their 3rd marriage before 45 years old. Nah, I'm not taking any advice from those folks.

 

[cockofdawn]

"Only GOOD divorce lawyer is a ........................................................."

 

[gamecockengineer2011]

"Only GOOD divorce lawyer is a ........................................................."

In my opinion the best divorce lawyers Ive seen have been women.

I recently hired Rebecca Creel from Creel Family Law in Columbia SC. Highly recommend her too.

 

[tngamecock#]

Did the OP use “good” and “attorney” in the same sentence? Isn’t that called an oxymoron?


Note: this is a joke people so to all my Attorney friends, don’t get your panties in a wad

 

[hahnenkampf]

Been through divorce and it sucks. I was fortunate enough to negotiate that my ex not touch my retirement. Ironically one of the few things I could negotiate with the heffer.

The problem you run into here is the cost/benefit analysis. Is the divorce settlement a good one you are comfortable with? If so, is it really worth hiring a new attorney this late in the game? If not, you can try to negotiate and spend a bunch of money on a new lawyer, but just realize it could be all for nothing.

I doubt that child support is going to be reduced much if at all. As another poster stated, that’s really calculated and pretty cut and dry.

The other factor is how are things with you and your ex. Mine wanted the divorce, then decided she wanted me back, then got pissed when I rejected her and there was very little wiggle room for negotiation. If she is open to negotiation, have the talk. Be prepared to give something up in return though. If she’s not, then that’s another door that is shut.

Good luck brother and I echo the other poster that said take care of your mental health. The sad reality is financially I would have been better off going to prison then marrying my ex wife.

Fortunately for me, I married up the second time and I’m in a much better place financially then I ever was in marriage one. It takes time, but you can build back stronger than before.

I’ve always told people the second marriage is the best one.

 

[Gamecockben1979]

I’ve always told people the second marriage is the best one.

You learn a lot about yourself when going through a divorce. You learn about the mistakes you make as a spouse and the mistakes you made in choosing a spouse. You are much wiser typically and if you put yourself into another marriage, more reluctant to go through another divorce.

Now that’s not to say there aren’t people that get into many marriages and divorces but that is rare.