Time for the annual favorite line from christmas vacation
- Thread starter ScWildthing61
- Start date
Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
“Do you hear that, it sounds like a funny tingling sound”. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant”
"We're going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny F#ckin Kay! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!"
-- Clark W. Griswold
-- Clark W. Griswold
Clark: I think that since this is aunt Bethany’s 80th Christmas, she should lead us in the saying of grace.
Bethany: What dear?
Grandma Griswold: GRACE!!
Bethany: Grace! She passed away 30 years ago.
Louis: They want you to say grace! THE BLESSING!!
Bethany: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, (everyone joins in) One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: …Amen!
Bethany: What dear?
Grandma Griswold: GRACE!!
Bethany: Grace! She passed away 30 years ago.
Louis: They want you to say grace! THE BLESSING!!
Bethany: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, (everyone joins in) One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: …Amen!
"She falls in a well eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule eyes go back normal. I don't know...."
Cousin Eddie
Cousin Eddie
Eddie: "If only I had back the money that me and Cathrine sent that TV preacher that was screwing the hockey players."
Clark: "What about the kids?"
Eddie: "His kids can fend for themselves. I don't even..."
Clark: "No, your kids."
Eddie: "Oh."
Clark: "What about the kids?"
Eddie: "His kids can fend for themselves. I don't even..."
Clark: "No, your kids."
Eddie: "Oh."
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukkah.
