Why is it that we look for argument rather than agreement

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OldWiseCock

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Seems like every post starts out with a statement or an observation (sports or politics) and instead of listening and trying to hear and understand another's point of view we immediately look for a reason to disagree. And we don't just attack the words; we call each other names. I've always wondered why we don't just listen and practice the ability to find common ground?

It is another way of saying, why is there so much hate and anger. It's not just here - it is everywhere. James Baldwin says, "people hold to their anger and hate because without it they would have to face their fear and pain." (paraphrase)

I think he might be right.
 

Jbouton2

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I pray every day to be a good listener. I also try to understand others who disagree with me, I fail at times on this. The OP makes great points on this. Thanks for the reminder, I need this from time to time.
 

titaniumspur

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Pretty much the same people are on this site as a year ago. Politics are inherently divisive. A lot of people used to enjoy sports as a break from the troubles of the world, which usually have some connection to politics. The sports that are being played now have been strongly politicized, which will lead to disagreements. It’s not like everyone on this site made a new years resolution to be contentious this year.
 

king ward

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Pretty much the same people are on this site as a year ago. Politics are inherently divisive. A lot of people used to enjoy sports as a break from the troubles of the world, which usually have some connection to politics. The sports that are being played now have been strongly politicized, which will lead to disagreements. It’s not like everyone on this site made a new years resolution to be contentious this year.
Good post. And I would remind people that there have been and will be occasions on this board where strictly sports-related threads have gotten very nasty, even rancorous, to the extent that some people have left and some have been booted off. Well, compared to the topics that have been allowed to reside on the board lately, I think mistakenly, sports is ch!cken $h!t.
 
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Seems like every post starts out with a statement or an observation (sports or politics) and instead of listening and trying to hear and understand another's point of view we immediately look for a reason to disagree. And we don't just attack the words; we call each other names. I've always wondered why we don't just listen and practice the ability to find common ground?

It is another way of saying, why is there so much hate and anger. It's not just here - it is everywhere. James Baldwin says, "people hold to their anger and hate because without it they would have to face their fear and pain." (paraphrase)

I think he might be right.
I am guilty. No doubt about it. Whats more is, I tell myself "no one ever changed anothers' opinion in a debate on the internet," yet I keep debating! :) I will say that I think I am open to changing my mind with the right evidence, but I should tame the rhetoric down at times. It is easy to get fired up. As much as I disagree with say, Rollerdude, I would be glad to hang out with him and laugh and cut up and then argue about politics! Believe it or not, I am not one to just hang out with only those who share my beliefs.
 

king ward

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Who is the chief labeler?
Hint
"Crooked Hillary"
"Lyin Ted"
"Sleepy Joe"
"Sloppy Steve"
"low Energy Jeb"
Mexican Rapist
Dumb Iowans

All of these have one common denominator. Can you guess what or who that would be?
The one common denominator is not in personality but intent - to disarm and to marginalize. Labelers are of multiple stripes. They are not all politicians and they are not all in one place on the political/ideological spectrum. It's a versatile device.
 

king ward

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I am guilty. No doubt about it. Whats more is, I tell myself "no one ever changed anothers' opinion in a debate on the internet," yet I keep debating! :) I will say that I think I am open to changing my mind with the right evidence, but I should tame the rhetoric down at times. It is easy to get fired up. As much as I disagree with say, Rollerdude, I would be glad to hang out with him and laugh and cut up and then argue about politics! Believe it or not, I am not one to just hang out with only those who share my beliefs.
I have had some of these same thoughts. I would embrace and have participated in personal interaction with certain people that I cannot abide on any internet forum. I'm only going to volunteer for so much aggravation because it is unnecessary and unenjoyable.
 
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ForeUSC

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Didn't miss the point at all. When the leader of our country acts in a certain manner does it shock you that others follow his lead?
I don’t usually respond to critics of President Trump. I only voted for him because of the alternative.
But you have a great memory of his “Labeler” comments. Wonder if you can remember the many, many comments by those of the opposite party about him.
 

Horseshoe 04

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I almost never argue. Adult discussion prevails. Those who aren’t capable I don’t have much to say to. I don’t ever argue with people that are wrong.
 

world famous 3rd base hecklers

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Seems like every post starts out with a statement or an observation (sports or politics) and instead of listening and trying to hear and understand another's point of view we immediately look for a reason to disagree. And we don't just attack the words; we call each other names. I've always wondered why we don't just listen and practice the ability to find common ground?

It is another way of saying, why is there so much hate and anger. It's not just here - it is everywhere. James Baldwin says, "people hold to their anger and hate because without it they would have to face their fear and pain." (paraphrase)

I think he might be right.

That's why we need sports without politics being injected....
 
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Yes, the national political dialogue is certainly more divisive and hostile today than it has been since at least the Vietnam-era. This is a big problem and has been ramping up for most of the past decade or 2.

But I think a lot is also a function of the quarantine and no sports. We're desperate for something substantial to argue passionately about, so a lot of us get really into it. It almost becomes a kind of sport. So it's mostly cathartic and not that bad, although of course some people will take it too far.
 

Gamecock Lifer

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Seems like every post starts out with a statement or an observation (sports or politics) and instead of listening and trying to hear and understand another's point of view we immediately look for a reason to disagree. And we don't just attack the words; we call each other names. I've always wondered why we don't just listen and practice the ability to find common ground?

It is another way of saying, why is there so much hate and anger. It's not just here - it is everywhere. James Baldwin says, "people hold to their anger and hate because without it they would have to face their fear and pain." (paraphrase)

I think he might be right.
This is a great post!! I could not agree more. I have taken a much more vocal stance against racism and hate speech on this board recently and been called every name you can think of (and few more you probably would never have thought of). I try to explain that my own opinions on this stuff have shifted over the years and that it might be worth some personal introspection on the part of the person attacking me to see what their true biases are... but that is just net with more hate usually. I pity people like that... and the people that live with them because I grew up with a Dad like that- full of anger, full of hate (Obviously there was love in there too... He is my Dad! People are complicated)... and I know exactly how it feels to be a child raised by a person who may fly off the handle any second... Coming to those realizations myself in recent years has dramatically improved how I interact with people in real life, not on some message board, as I can look back and better understand the times I was a real jerk and how stupid it was and take steps to stop doing that now and in the future. It may all be coming too late for some relationships in my life but I have a 7yo daughter and hope to never download the amount of hate and anger into her that my father downloaded into me.

Again great post! So relevant to this board and discussions being had all over the world right now. Things may seem a mess today but I hope in the end this will lead to people treating each other a little better... No matter their differences.
 

Rollerdude123

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Seems like every post starts out with a statement or an observation (sports or politics) and instead of listening and trying to hear and understand another's point of view we immediately look for a reason to disagree. And we don't just attack the words; we call each other names. I've always wondered why we don't just listen and practice the ability to find common ground?

It is another way of saying, why is there so much hate and anger. It's not just here - it is everywhere. James Baldwin says, "people hold to their anger and hate because without it they would have to face their fear and pain." (paraphrase)

I think he might be right.


I disagree with your premise. The most successful media personalities in the country rarely listen to anyone and have made very successful careers personally insulting people every day, arguing, demeanIng, callIng names.(Sports talkers, talk radio talkers, cable news hosts). Many of them have a huge audience and very good ratings.


An elected state rep that I follow can post 10 positive stories on his Facebook page and get a couple of responses. He can post a comment that someone out there finds a way to view it as a political comment and he’ll have 220 responses. People love that stuff.

people love to argue. I know I do. I use to detest it years and years ago but I enjoy it now.

Rush LImbaugh once said trying to build consensus and look for agreement or compromise was what losers do. I’ve come to agree with him on that one thing.
 
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The Coup Nazi

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Who is the chief labeler?
Hint
"Crooked Hillary"
"Lyin Ted"
"Sleepy Joe"
"Sloppy Steve"
"low Energy Jeb"
Mexican Rapist
Dumb Iowans

All of these have one common denominator. Can you guess what or who that would be?
And your post is a classic example of why the heated disagreements and name calling exists here. There is nothing subtle about your comments and who you are talking about. Therefore if I contradicted your post we have another sh*t show which you started...but your post is in this thread about why we have all this bickering. Here’s your card.
 

Rollerdude123

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And your post is a classic example of why the heated disagreements and name calling exists here. There is nothing subtle about your comments and who you are talking about. Therefore if I contradicted your post we have another sh*t show which you started...but your post is in this thread about why we have all this bickering. Here’s your card.

I think it’s fair to point our the current President has taken personal insults and name calling to a level we haven’t seen from the leader of our country in our lifetimes,


I realize some folks love when he personally insults people but it’s also fair to point out his speech is pretty inflammatory at times.
 

Lurker123

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I would embrace and have participated in personal interaction with certain people that I cannot abide on any internet forum.
This is a major point I think a lot of people miss. The difference between the two scenarios is the anonymity of the internet. It does not make things better.
 

The Coup Nazi

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I think it’s fair to point our the current President has taken personal insults and name calling to a level we haven’t seen from the leader of our country in our lifetimes,


I realize some folks love when he personally insults people but it’s also fair to point out his speech is pretty inflammatory at times.
Please don’t change the subject. That is not what this thread is about. It is about why the bickering and name calling exists here. I pointed out how his post is a perfect example of “why”. It happens from the right too. I didn’t attempt to deny that conservatives are guilty.
 

Rollerdude123

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Please don’t change the subject. That is not what this thread is about. It is about why the bickering and name calling exists here. I pointed out how his post is a perfect example of “why”. It happens from the right too. I didn’t attempt to deny that conservatives are guilty.

And I’m pointing out that things seem to have went up a few levels since the POTUS embraceD that type of strategy.
 
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ClemDent

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I’ve been on this forum for several years now and it seems that some (not all) of those who tend to get political about everything have only recently become very active. Meaning, I don’t remember seeing them post too often in the pre-Covid days when this was an actual sports forum and not a political one.
 
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Jbouton2

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I’ve been on this forum for several years now and it seems that some (not all) of those who tend to get political about everything have only recently become very active. Meaning, I don’t remember seeing them post too often in the pre-Covid days when this was an actual sports forum and not a political one.
They know who they are. I'm making an effort to look at only sports related. However, same people seem to hijack these also
 

biting curve

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Who is the chief labeler?
Hint
"Crooked Hillary"
"Lyin Ted"
"Sleepy Joe"
"Sloppy Steve"
"low Energy Jeb"
Mexican Rapist
Dumb Iowans

All of these have one common denominator. Can you guess what or who that would be?
I guess you’re contending that politicians (on both sides), the MSM, and social media hadn’t been dividing the country before he was elected? I guess you’re overlooking the nonstop barrage of attacks against Trump (some possibly illegal)?

Your post clearly illustrates what’s wrong with this country today. IMHO the vast majority of this forum would get along just fine if we all met in person. Likewise, the vast majority of the country would get along just fine if they met in person.
 
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1982cock

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I disagree with your premise. The most successful media personalities in the country rarely listen to anyone and have made very successful careers personally insulting people every day, arguing, demeanIng, callIng names.(Sports talkers, talk radio talkers, cable news hosts). Many of them have a huge audience and very good ratings.


An elected state rep that I follow can post 10 positive stories on his Facebook page and get a couple of responses. He can post a comment that someone out there finds a way to view it as a political comment and he’ll have 220 responses. People love that stuff.

people love to argue. I know I do. I use to detest it years and years ago but I enjoy it now.

Rush LImbaugh once said trying to build consensus and look for agreement or compromise was what losers do. I’ve come to agree with him on that one thing.
You like to argue?? No!! Learn something everyday!
 
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Dizzy01

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I am guilty. No doubt about it. Whats more is, I tell myself "no one ever changed anothers' opinion in a debate on the internet," yet I keep debating! :) I will say that I think I am open to changing my mind with the right evidence, but I should tame the rhetoric down at times. It is easy to get fired up. As much as I disagree with say, Rollerdude, I would be glad to hang out with him and laugh and cut up and then argue about politics! Believe it or not, I am not one to just hang out with only those who share my beliefs.
Debate is fun and I do think it is possible for people to change opinions based on things you read on a message board if (and it’s a big if) you are willing to be open minded. As people get older they tend to either be more closed minded or more open minded but it is depending on the individual.

The real problem I see if that few people are actually willing to put effort into finding out information for themselves. The willingness to just accept something they see on social media or on TV despite all evidence to the contrary is fascinating.
 

The Coup Nazi

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And I’m pointing out that things seem to have went up a few levels since the POTUS embraceD that type of strategy.
That was not a part of anything in regard to the subject matter of the thread. I could have picked some bad mouthing liberal and compared him/her to the OP’s list, but I chose not to because that would have been irrelevant and it would have created nothing short of a pissing contest which this is about to become. So now I’ll end my responses in this thread and yield the balance of my time to whoever must have the last word.
 

Rollerdude123

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I’ve been on this forum for several years now and it seems that some (not all) of those who tend to get political about everything have only recently become very active. Meaning, I don’t remember seeing them post too often in the pre-Covid days when this was an actual sports forum and not a political one.

Many, many people prefer to talk politics over sports.
 

Rollerdude123

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That was not a part of anything in regard to the subject matter of the thread. I could have picked some bad mouthing liberal and compared him/her to the OP’s list, but I chose not to because that would have been irrelevant and it would have created nothing short of a pissing contest which this is about to become. So now I’ll end my responses in this thread and yield the balance of my time to whoever must have the last word.

As I said, the POTUS employed a strategy of personal insults and name calling that America hadn’t seen in our lifetimes from a president. Many Americans cheered his name-calling and insults.

That’s very different than if from a regular politician.
 
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