I was asked to speak at a friend's funeral...
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I have spoken now at three funerals in my 59 plus years on this earth. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done. Even though you may not remember all you said at his funeral (funny how that works - I share that experience), I'm sure you did a great job in honoring your friend.
Thanks so much for reading! I'm sure you honored your friends as well! Have a great day!
I've done two funerals and one wedding. Both carry a lot of responsibility. One of the funerals was at the graveside for a man I had never met and with almost no notice but with the family there expecting a real funeral. Try that one on for size.
Hopefully the Gamecocks weren't mentioned. Let the man rest in peace
Man, I don't wish that on anyone! Thanks for the read! Hope the gamecocks pull out a W this weekend!
Nah. The Gamecocks weren't mentioned that day. Thanks for the read!
I enjoyed reading that. Before I ever joined Toastmasters I was terrified to speak before a group. Even when I was called on unexpectedly to speak at a very dear relatives funeral I was terrified.
I determined then to fix it, and first joined Dale Carnegies’ Club and that gave me the confidence to try Toastmasters.
Don’t ask me to speak before your club.
You may not get back home or the office for a while.
But it’s all pretty easy now; just tell them what you are going to tell them, then tell them what you told them you would tell them, then tell them what you told them.
That’s similar to what politicians tell you, except they tell you nothing, then repeat it over and over.
Hey I did Toastmasters too. There's a chapter that meets on campus at USC and includes working adults from the community, Gamecock Toastmasters
Thanks. I am in Maine now for the foreseeable future, but live in Jax Fl. Mostly.
Good luck to you and yours!
To those who are able to speak at events like these, do you think it’s a natural ability or something you had to learn? I think I’d rather give up a kidney before speaking again at a wedding.
I literally laughed out loud when I read the kidney part! Haha! That's a great question. I'm a teacher so I speak in front of people all day every day; however, speaking at that funeral was the toughest public speaking I've ever done. Even if you're born with the ability, I do think it takes some practice.
I hope you don't ever have to give up your kidney!
It's like anything else. I helps to have an innate gift. But in the case of a funeral, it's hard to mess it up if you focus on the virtues of the deceased, are sincere, and are appropriately brief. I've seen otherwise good funerals marred by verbosity. That could apply to the officiant or a eulogist. It's OK to have your thoughts written down, at least in an outline. It's better to refer to notes than to stumble or to forget important points. You don't get a mulligan.
It is a learned thing. You just have to make up your mind to do it,
And if you are still in business or in the workplace it is a wonderful boost to your career!
Just do it!
Powerful story. Thanks for sharing. "For what is your life? It is even a vapor..."
I believe I would tell them I have the flu or something else and I will not be able to attend.
I do enjoy reading your stories, even though some are sad, some are funny but it's real and its life.
Thank you!
I’m sure you did a great job even though you were very young and nervous. It came from your heart. Recently I was able to speak at my wingman‘s (from Desert Storm) funeral. I am 68 and he was 61 and had died from complications from MS. I just told the story of our day one attack on an airfield and how well he had done supporting my lead after the original lead aborted just before we left Saudi airspace. We had a change in formation as we were now a threeship, had SAMs fired at us requiring an evasive maneuver and it was about 30 minutes after sunset making it difficult to see the target area. But Dave did a tremendous job. It was an easy story to tell. It gave his friends and relatives a new respect and appreciation for Dave’s service to our nation.
Thanks so much! I appreciate you reading! It's real-life that I want to share with people! Again, thanks so much!
Sounds like a great story! I appreciate your and Dave's service to our country! Thanks for all you did and still do!
I used to be scared to speak in front of crowds, I had ability but little training. After the Lord got a hold of my heart I was asked to pray in front of the Church. I was terrified. 15 years later I now teach and preach on occasion but I lead the singing every Sunday.
In my estimation writing is far more difficult (I'm awful at all aspects of the English language).
When I pass ive told people not to spare the Gospel!
In my estimation writing is far more difficult (I'm awful at all aspects of the English language).
When I pass ive told people not to spare the Gospel!
I agree on the appropriately brief! Longer doesn't mean stronger when it comes to speeches!
Appreciate the post. My dad was a minister and said that giving eulogies was the most important thing he did. Never done it myself, but I can only imagine that the words must feel inadequate for the moment no matter what you say. But I think rarely will people remember the specific words anyway. Maybe an anecdote or two, but more so just the sincerity and the sense of shared grief. I have no doubt the family remembers and appreciates how you were there for them and your friend.
That is fascinating because I could write a 10-page speech in 1 hour but I wouldn’t stand a chance presenting it at a large event. I think it’s the George Costanza effect that gets me; “I can sense the slightest human suffering”
Thanks so much for the read and the kind words. When you think about it, eulogies are one of the most important speakings we give. It's kind of the last thing that's said about a person before we bury them. Of course, that person is talked about after the burial, but... Thanks for the kind words, my friend!
Thanks for the read! Props to you for being able to articulate your thoughts onto paper! That ain't easy!
Thanks for sharing man! When God gets a hold of you, you're able to do things you never imagined possible! That Gospel is always good!
Hope you have a great weekend!
I did a lot of military funeral duty in the air force, the base officers rotated the duty for a month at a time. No speeches, but you had to memorize a short bit for the next of kin to which you present the burial flag. Some were sad. One that really stuck was a long retired senior NCO that only had one person at his funeral, other than me, the honor guard and funeral director.
I performed a couple of weddings as a notary public, plus a couple of funeral testimonials. I would rather do a wedding than a funeral. but they all went OK. The couples I married have stayed married, so far.
I performed a couple of weddings as a notary public, plus a couple of funeral testimonials. I would rather do a wedding than a funeral. but they all went OK. The couples I married have stayed married, so far.
At my Dad's funeral we talked about Gamecocks a lot. He was buried the same day we beat Clemson twice to advance to the final game against Texas. I'm convinced he had God's ear that day.
Man, only one person at the funeral. Whew. Yeah I think weddings would be more enjoyable. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading! That’s what I wanted to do then and do now. Just remember who he was!
Thank You for Sharing.. I am a little older than you and have had the honor to speak at my Mom and Dad's funeral my in-laws funeral and a uncle's funeral. i am a simple man who somehow as a gift from above that allows me to do this. Each time has been different and some have been harder than others. All i know is i never once felt it was me doing it. Then it was over.. Thank you!
Kudos to ANYONE that can speak at a funeral. I don't do weddings and if forced to attend a funeral , then I sit on the back row ,closest to the exit. It is just too emotional for me.
I’ve spoken at many funerals and officiated many weddings. Both are very special times for me and those I’ve had to opportunity to serve in this capacity. I learn far more lessons in the prep for those times than I could ever possibly communicate to the crowds gathered for the event. The bonds created by being a part of those monumentous occasions never fade. I have a special bond with the families forever, being there during their most difficult moments, most vulnerable moments, and their most special moments.
They aren’t easy to do, that’s for sure. Especially funerals. They are much easier if there is hope, that’s also for sure. But I remember every single one of them in very extreme detail. And for that I am grateful. I do believe it’s a gift from God to be able to communicate in this manner. There are many good public speakers and entertainers...but those gifted in this manner have the ability to keep everyone’s attention, but not make it about themselves. That’s the challenge and the temptation for everyone gifted.
To the OP and all who have had this privilege...it’s always appreciated. I know I been blessed and am thankful for those who have been there for me and my family during those difficult times, and who will continue to be there in the future.
They aren’t easy to do, that’s for sure. Especially funerals. They are much easier if there is hope, that’s also for sure. But I remember every single one of them in very extreme detail. And for that I am grateful. I do believe it’s a gift from God to be able to communicate in this manner. There are many good public speakers and entertainers...but those gifted in this manner have the ability to keep everyone’s attention, but not make it about themselves. That’s the challenge and the temptation for everyone gifted.
To the OP and all who have had this privilege...it’s always appreciated. I know I been blessed and am thankful for those who have been there for me and my family during those difficult times, and who will continue to be there in the future.
Thanks for reading! Thanks for using your gift for others! Always good to have some help from above!
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