Hire the best offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator, assistant coaches and a bag man as my recruiting coordinator...
Call me Dabo....
Call me Dabo....
If I was a D1 college Head Football Coach, I would.... (fill in the blank)
- Thread starter world famous 3rd base hecklers
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Dont forget, get a church or other non profit as your funnel.
Not step a foot in the City of Columbia, SC. The ego of a Georgia with the history of a NCSU.
Hire recruiters all across the staff. Calling plays isn't the genius exercise many want to make it out to be. If you have the horses it is amazing how most things work.
As far as the bag man. On every message board I have ever been on it amazes me how every other school with any degree of success is buying players, and that their school is clean as to the reason that other programs are better. Maybe that is correct. In a lot of cases it is. But the old adage of.....if you ain't cheatin', you ain't winnin'.......rings awful true. It's the wild wild west out there in recruiting. You either play the game, or appreciate your integrity while being mediocre.
As far as the bag man. On every message board I have ever been on it amazes me how every other school with any degree of success is buying players, and that their school is clean as to the reason that other programs are better. Maybe that is correct. In a lot of cases it is. But the old adage of.....if you ain't cheatin', you ain't winnin'.......rings awful true. It's the wild wild west out there in recruiting. You either play the game, or appreciate your integrity while being mediocre.
You get paid though and they won't fire you too early. You gotta take the good with the bad.
Would you mail it in and keep colllecting a check until you are fired and your massive, unearned buyout kicks in?
Or would you give it all you had and try to build a legacy?
3rd option, aka the Hugh Freeze option - lose your massive buyout due to a morals clause and call hookers from your school provided cell phone.
Easy question.
I'd check out FGF every day so I'd know what to do and how to do it. Then I'd go unbeaten every year and retire from coaching in 10 years with a 150-0 record (or something like that), and go on TV and do color commentary and check FGF every day so I'd know how to do that, too
And I'd be the most widely praised color commentary commentator on the planet, thanks to the daily dose of instructions I got from FGF.
Later, when I am older than I am now, in my inevitable College Football HOF announcement, I'd say "I owe everything to FGF. I learned all there was to know about football, coaching, athletic directing, recruiting, announcing, color commentating, Columbia fast food restaurants, boats, hurricanes and everything else from the posters on that wonderful messageboard."
In short, "never have so few (in this case, one) owed so much to so many."
I'd check out FGF every day so I'd know what to do and how to do it. Then I'd go unbeaten every year and retire from coaching in 10 years with a 150-0 record (or something like that), and go on TV and do color commentary and check FGF every day so I'd know how to do that, too
And I'd be the most widely praised color commentary commentator on the planet, thanks to the daily dose of instructions I got from FGF.
Later, when I am older than I am now, in my inevitable College Football HOF announcement, I'd say "I owe everything to FGF. I learned all there was to know about football, coaching, athletic directing, recruiting, announcing, color commentating, Columbia fast food restaurants, boats, hurricanes and everything else from the posters on that wonderful messageboard."
In short, "never have so few (in this case, one) owed so much to so many."
I'd buy a giant house on an island, rehire my last failed offensive coordinator and cash those checks.
And herein lies the unreasonableness and the lack of knowledge of the fan base, hence my above answer. Roper was with Muschamp ONE year at UF and improved their offensive output (even outperformed the supposed offensive guru who took over UF). It was not unreasonable for Muschamp to rehire him, especially considering his pedigree. Too many USC fans have become spoiled and impatient by a 3 year period from a coach who took his own sweet time to build a team (that wasn't left in bad shape) and took less than half that time to destroy it. And he did destroy it.
Oh, I'd give it my all, but if they chose to fire me, I'd laugh all the way to the bank.
Nah. Tail is plenty easy enough to get. Don't have to pay for it.
Figure out exactly how much cheating is required to win and how much my program could get away with.
I'd be compared to Spurrier.... not the part about winning games, just the part about being a smart ass and ragging other team's coaches and really pissing off some of them.
Look for the college town with the best fish tacos.
I'd come here because not much is ever expected.
When people do try to hold your feet to the fire, the radio sycophants circle the wagons.
I'd come here because not much is ever expected.
When people do try to hold your feet to the fire, the radio sycophants circle the wagons.
After a long hard day at the practice field, I'd come in, take a shower, pour myself a glass of Pappy Van Winkle (because I can afford it) and to lift my spirts and get a bunch of laughs I would read a fan message board.
Ah, a fan of General Joseph Hooker's policies.Hookers...
I have to admit, I'm impressed with your ability to be condescending about "knowledge of the fanbase" when you're never right about anything. Bravo, sir. For two years, I went through Roper's failed history in excruciating detail and you continued to cherry pick only those few points, those slivers of hope, that would prove that Roper was the man for the job. And he flopped and got fired, as I predicted. You have zero credibility on these matters because you've been consistently and stubbornly wrong.
And the idea the team was "destroyed" is utter nonsense. If it were destroyed, how did we manage to win 9 games last year? Oh right, Roper. The man of destiny.
I'd buy two things right off the bat: a new Yamaha V-Max motorcycle and a Weatherby Mark V from the Weatherby custom shop in .460 Wby Magnum. I'd be making so much bank that the impracticality of either would no longer be a factor.
There may have been rational and logical reasons to hire Roper, but given ALL of the OC options available to him, bringing the very same guy that was his OC when he was fired from Florida seems to demonstrate some tone-deafness on Muschamp's part. Additionally, however reasonable the Roper hire may have been at the time, the inescapable fact is that Muschamp made a change 2 years later.
If I were a D-1 head coach I would:
(1) Hire Stormy Daniels to seduce Dabo
(2) Blackmail Dabo into resigning and naming me head coach of Clemson with a guaranteed 5 year 50 million dollar/year contract
(3) Hire Whammy as my DC and Krusty the Clown as my OC
(4) Party hearty as I watch the 2 bozos recruit Clemson into the ground
(5) Commit so many major recruiting violations that Newspring has to declare BK
(6) go 0-12 each year
(7) Hire Stormy Daniels to seduce Lee Corso
(8) Blackmail Lee Corso into resigning and take his place on ESPN Gameday
(1) Hire Stormy Daniels to seduce Dabo
(2) Blackmail Dabo into resigning and naming me head coach of Clemson with a guaranteed 5 year 50 million dollar/year contract
(3) Hire Whammy as my DC and Krusty the Clown as my OC
(4) Party hearty as I watch the 2 bozos recruit Clemson into the ground
(5) Commit so many major recruiting violations that Newspring has to declare BK
(6) go 0-12 each year
(7) Hire Stormy Daniels to seduce Lee Corso
(8) Blackmail Lee Corso into resigning and take his place on ESPN Gameday
Absolutely a great post. Lots of fat assed posters sitting behind a computer trashing the program and players. Monday morning quarterbacks. Actually Sunday thru Sunday qbs they are such experts.
