OT: Worst Mother’s Day Ever

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

Today was the worst Mother’s Day ever. My wife and I have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months. We are currently on pause trying to figure out what the next steps are. My sister is not even 14 weeks pregnant and just had her gender reveal yesterday. My wife and I chose not to attend because our emotions are still too raw. My wife has done everything by the book and it’s been very difficult for her. About a week and a half ago, my sister and I were trying to make plans for how to celebrate our mother for Mother’s Day. During that phone conversation, nothing was mentioned about a gender reveal party. It was sent via Facebook. I called and explained to her that I don’t know if it would be easy for us to come due to the current circumstances. My sister basically said she’s not trying to be a you know what, but she’s doing what’s best for her. She didn’t want us there if we were going to be Debbie downers. Fast forward to today, we met my mother at Cracker Barrel and at the end of breakfast, she basically said that we hurt my sisters feelings for not coming. Basically we have been told to get over the miscarriages by my family and my mother made my wife upset today in front of a crowd. It was by far the worst Mother’s Day ever.

 

[ansoncock]

Sorry for your troubles. Get some medical advice, and try again when appropriate.

Try to improve relations with sister and move on. You can do it!

 

[mavcock]

Sorry, man, but your sister sucks. I’ll be happy when gender reveals are a thing of the past, like kindergarten graduations.

 

[cockymom2boys]

Today was the worst Mother’s Day ever. My wife and I have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months. We are currently on pause trying to figure out what the next steps are. My sister is not even 14 weeks pregnant and just had her gender reveal yesterday. My wife and I chose not to attend because our emotions are still too raw. My wife has done everything by the book and it’s been very difficult for her. About a week and a half ago, my sister and I were trying to make plans for how to celebrate our mother for Mother’s Day. During that phone conversation, nothing was mentioned about a gender reveal party. It was sent via Facebook. I called and explained to her that I don’t know if it would be easy for us to come due to the current circumstances. My sister basically said she’s not trying to be a you know what, but she’s doing what’s best for her. She didn’t want us there if we were going to be Debbie downers. Fast forward to today, we met my mother at Cracker Barrel and at the end of breakfast, she basically said that we hurt my sisters feelings for not coming. Basically we have been told to get over the miscarriages by my family and my mother made my wife upset today in front of a crowd. It was by far the worst Mother’s Day ever.

I am really sorry to read this. I think your mom was very wrong to make this comment to you and your wife.
As a RN, I would advise you and your wife to make an appt with a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies.
Also, if you like to listen to podcasts, I recommend KATE BOWLER EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND OTHER LIES IVE LOVED. They are on NPR. Not about miscarriages specifically but more about how to deal with life when you are experiencing difficult times.
Prayers for healing for you and your wife.

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

Thanks everyone. It seems like we are in the rainy season of life. We know that God is in control and that things will happen when they are meant to happen. I feel bad that there isn’t more that I can do for my wife. I wouldn’t wish this kind of sadness on anyone.

 

[wob]

Not to one up your shitty mothers day, but my mom died on mother's day seven years ago. That was a pretty lousy one.

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

Not to one up your shitty mothers day, but my mom died on mother's day seven years ago. That was a pretty lousy one.

That would be an awful Mother’s Day. My mom has her moments but during these times, she’s not been very supportive of my wife and I with these miscarriages.

 

[Jon Snow]

I’m not in the “get over the miscarriages camp” as I think that’s a pretty calloused approach. However, put yourself in your sister’s shoes. A new baby is a huge deal to her. She’s trying to celebrate and enjoy it, and she wants to include you in that. I don’t know what your relationship is like with her, but when she says she’s doing what’s best for her and don’t attend if you will be Debbie Downer, she’s telling you this is important to her and she’s like it to be a happy occasion. She wasn’t telling you to not show up. So yeah, I see where she’s a little hurt. Hopefully, she also understands this is tough for you.

 

[TopHook]

Yeah your sister sounslds like a ykw.

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

I’m not in the “get over the miscarriages camp” as I think that’s a pretty calloused approach. However, put yourself in your sister’s shoes. A new baby is a huge deal to her. She’s trying to celebrate and enjoy it, and she wants to include you in that. I don’t know what your relationship is like with her, but when she says she’s doing what’s best for her and don’t attend if you will be Debbie Downer, she’s telling you this is important to her and she’s like it to be a happy occasion. She wasn’t telling you to not show up. So yeah, I see where she’s a little hurt. Hopefully, she also understands this is tough for you.

I understand where she is coming from but in the back of her mind, planning your gender reveal for Mother’s Day weekend you would think would be tough. Had it been another weekend we would have went. Would it have been rough? Absolutely but it wouldn’t have been as difficult I felt.

 

[Jon Snow]

I understand where she is coming from but in the back of her mind, planning your gender reveal for Mother’s Day weekend you would think would be tough. Had it been another weekend we would have went. Would it have been rough? Absolutely but it wouldn’t have been as difficult I felt.

I suppose she thought her gender-reveal (pending motherhood) and Mother’s Day were a natural match.

 

[Harvard Gamecock]

Not to one up your shitty mothers day, but my mom died on mother's day seven years ago. That was a pretty lousy one.

My mother-in-law died several years ago, 1 day before mothers day and 2 days before my wife's birthday.
That took a couple of years for my wife to get over that.

 

[gamecox4982]

Ya’ll do Ya’ll and the heck what other people think.

 

[TheReelEss]

Thanks everyone. It seems like we are in the rainy season of life. We know that God is in control and that things will happen when they are meant to happen. I feel bad that there isn’t more that I can do for my wife. I wouldn’t wish this kind of sadness on anyone.

Keep your chin up. My wife was unable to conceive in her first marriage. They did IVF and she was unable to carry to term. Now we have a 16 YO girl. And should all else fail, there are lots of children in need of adoption. As for your sister, she's in a very emotional state right now as well. Try to fix the rift if you can. Both my parents are gone now and I'm so glad I get along with my sister. We were never on the same wavelength when we were young but we're very close now.

 

[usc_nc]

My wife and I went thru years of infertility and a miscarriage.

Years and years of failed treatments.

Finally my wife said “do I want to be pregnant or do I want to be a Mom”

She answered a “Mom”.

We began the adoption process and soon we had our daughter.

She was a Mom!!!

Please prayerfully consider this option.

There is so much more I could say but this is not the appropriate venue. Ping back and I will give you my number.

 

[Poultrygeist]

Today was the worst Mother’s Day ever. My wife and I have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months. We are currently on pause trying to figure out what the next steps are. My sister is not even 14 weeks pregnant and just had her gender reveal yesterday. My wife and I chose not to attend because our emotions are still too raw. My wife has done everything by the book and it’s been very difficult for her. About a week and a half ago, my sister and I were trying to make plans for how to celebrate our mother for Mother’s Day. During that phone conversation, nothing was mentioned about a gender reveal party. It was sent via Facebook. I called and explained to her that I don’t know if it would be easy for us to come due to the current circumstances. My sister basically said she’s not trying to be a you know what, but she’s doing what’s best for her. She didn’t want us there if we were going to be Debbie downers. Fast forward to today, we met my mother at Cracker Barrel and at the end of breakfast, she basically said that we hurt my sisters feelings for not coming. Basically we have been told to get over the miscarriages by my family and my mother made my wife upset today in front of a crowd. It was by far the worst Mother’s Day ever.

There is an organization named emptycradle.org. I know friends that have gotten help/guidance from them. My wife and I lost a baby the second time we got pregnant. It is a heavy, confusing type of grief. Just know that God has a plan and that he does not make mistakes.

 

[Carolina Doc]

Pretty insensitive on the part of your sister and mother.

 

[german cock]

Thanks everyone. It seems like we are in the rainy season of life. We know that God is in control and that things will happen when they are meant to happen. I feel bad that there isn’t more that I can do for my wife. I wouldn’t wish this kind of sadness on anyone.

@DooDooIce90 , have face , God works in mysterious ways.🙏 Go Cocks

 

[Jbouton2]

Thanks everyone. It seems like we are in the rainy season of life. We know that God is in control and that things will happen when they are meant to happen. I feel bad that there isn’t more that I can do for my wife. I wouldn’t wish this kind of sadness on anyone.

If I may suggest a book, A Bend in the Road by David Jeremiah. I've been reading this. You and your wife may like it.

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

I’ll be getting back in touch with several of y’all this evening or in the morning. I know that this is a place for football but talking about this stuff helps and I appreciate you all for taking the time to read and listen. It means a lot

 

[Bubbaglide]

Your sister had plenty of time to do a gender reveal. She could have been e considerate. Glad you were strong enough to do what you needed to for you and your wife. Stay strong. Prayers for y'all

 

[JohnnySolo]

Tomorrow is Monday. A new day.

 

[gamecock1999]

I’m sorry for your situation. Just keep standing by your wife (priority number one) while also trying to be forgiving and non-confrontational with your family as much as you reasonably can. Not easy, but God can give you the grace to endure this trial, and you will be able to look back with thanksgiving for His deliverance.

 

[fowl_mood]

I'm sure your mom and sister did not intend to hurt you or your wife. Your sister was just trying to make her mom very happy on her day.

Let's be straight up....when it comes to families, the process required to get everyone on the same page is a fragile one, and in tough times, it often crumbles.

Just hold you and your wife together. God will provide.

 

[iohbird]

Today was the worst Mother’s Day ever. My wife and I have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months. We are currently on pause trying to figure out what the next steps are. My sister is not even 14 weeks pregnant and just had her gender reveal yesterday. My wife and I chose not to attend because our emotions are still too raw. My wife has done everything by the book and it’s been very difficult for her. About a week and a half ago, my sister and I were trying to make plans for how to celebrate our mother for Mother’s Day. During that phone conversation, nothing was mentioned about a gender reveal party. It was sent via Facebook. I called and explained to her that I don’t know if it would be easy for us to come due to the current circumstances. My sister basically said she’s not trying to be a you know what, but she’s doing what’s best for her. She didn’t want us there if we were going to be Debbie downers. Fast forward to today, we met my mother at Cracker Barrel and at the end of breakfast, she basically said that we hurt my sisters feelings for not coming. Basically we have been told to get over the miscarriages by my family and my mother made my wife upset today in front of a crowd. It was by far the worst Mother’s Day ever.

Went thru the same thing and now have 3 adult children. Ours was treatable medically - were the miscarriages similar from a time from conception standpoint?

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

Went thru the same thing and now have 3 adult children. Ours was treatable medically - were the miscarriages similar from a time from conception standpoint?

Both pregnancies stopped growing at the 6 week and 1 day and 2 day mark. Doctor says they think it’s nothing more than bad luck striking twice.

 

[Gamecockben1979]

Today was the worst Mother’s Day ever. My wife and I have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months. We are currently on pause trying to figure out what the next steps are. My sister is not even 14 weeks pregnant and just had her gender reveal yesterday. My wife and I chose not to attend because our emotions are still too raw. My wife has done everything by the book and it’s been very difficult for her. About a week and a half ago, my sister and I were trying to make plans for how to celebrate our mother for Mother’s Day. During that phone conversation, nothing was mentioned about a gender reveal party. It was sent via Facebook. I called and explained to her that I don’t know if it would be easy for us to come due to the current circumstances. My sister basically said she’s not trying to be a you know what, but she’s doing what’s best for her. She didn’t want us there if we were going to be Debbie downers. Fast forward to today, we met my mother at Cracker Barrel and at the end of breakfast, she basically said that we hurt my sisters feelings for not coming. Basically we have been told to get over the miscarriages by my family and my mother made my wife upset today in front of a crowd. It was by far the worst Mother’s Day ever.

Man I’m praying for you and your wife. I love my mom and sister, but they’ve put me in similar situations from time to time. I had to remind them that I don’t live with them and when the rubber hits the road my life now is with my wife. Unless my wife does something illegal or immoral, she’s in the right.

Mom means well, but this really wasn’t her place even if yesterday was Mother’s Day. There’s something about weddings and gender reveals that bring out the worst and most selfish parts of people
Ive known a lot of couples to have difficulties getting pregnant. It seems like somewhere down the line, most end up having children. Try to stay positive and upbeat and love and support your wife. I know it’s hard on you too and I hope you are coping and healing as best you can.

Good luck brother!

 

[iohbird]

Went thru the same thing and now have 3 adult children. Ours was treatable medically - were the miscarriages similar from a time from conception standpoint?

Ours responded to progesterone supplementation. I can't remember the critical point in the pregnancy tho.. It's likely not the same issue at any rate. Don't get discouraged. There's a big picture that we don't see. I'm a retired medical professional and there are so many potential barriers to the miracle of birth. Praying for ya'll.

 

[king ward]

Gender reveals have become gauche, and those are the ones that aren't tacky.

 

[cockymom2boys]

Both pregnancies stopped growing at the 6 week and 1 day and 2 day mark. Doctor says they think it’s nothing more than bad luck striking twice.

Once again, as a RN, please find a high risk practice. It may be "nothing more than bad luck striking twice" but it may be more.

 

[anon_6poml7ajgpoqm]

Once again, as a RN, please find a high risk practice. It may be "nothing more than bad luck striking twice" but it may be more.

That’s the plan before we try again. Things were recommended to us and we could try them but we are wanting to see a specialist before trying again. Thank you for the advice!

 

[scbirdhunter]

Gender reveals have become gauche, and those are the ones that aren't tacky.

Stupidity seems to be a common trend. Seems as though every other day there is another story of a gender reveal resulting in a maiming or death. One putz even managed to start a massive forest fire all in the name of dazzling family & friends.

 

[ghostofpepsicock]

Sorry for your loss and sorry your immediate family is being insensitive over it