This is a football thread, not gamecock quidditch or whatever those snooze buttons are spamming the board about.
Anywho, per my affluent but slightly retarded sources on the inside of the Gamecock athletic department, next week we are gonna have..,
Kombucha Caleb:
Outdoorsy style hat that isn’t related to sports.
(bonus points for not double dipping though ie wearing a gamecock hat with a gamecock polo. nothing says loser like double dipping team gear) but it’s still a crunchy granola hat that’s a little odd placed within the confines of a tailgate tent.
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Brand New Under Armor White Gamecock Polo.
Not bad but obviously he stopped by Addams bookstore on the way to the tailgate.
LL Bean outdoorsy shorts.
Almost like a bathing suit. i’m sure it’s great for hiking the appalachian trail. Talking actual hiking not Mark Sanford stuff here.
But as we all know we aren’t hiking unless it’s down the railroad track to meet some friends at another tailgate. Note the hat and shorts are a huge miss match to the polo and hat. Small Bonus points here for finding a way to keep the gonads cool in famously hot Columbia.
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Shoes:
Chaco’s. Very odd choice for gameday and can easily stub your toe if not careful. Also i’m nearly certain he has amazonian type feet and doesn’t trim his nails regularly. That look is attractive in the Northeast during the summer like northern Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.
Those states bring us to our conclusion of
gameday drink choice.
Kombucha Caleb is showing up at your tailgate with some blueberry ipa based beer that literally no one wants and he brought as a conversation piece to the tailgate. Unfortunately, this plan backfires as no one cares or wants to try it or much less even talk about why such a thing is inside the cooler. Small Bonus points here however as no one will steal your beers from your cooler and also those beers are like 9% alcohol or something ridiculous.
Stephen Alexander.
Steven but with a ph has an uphill battle however you wish to chalk it up. Has two first names like a Nascar driver which will strike a chord with 20% of all fan bases in the South East, especially those Darlington roots Gamecock fans. Bonus points for fighting the good fight though.
No Hat. Respectable. 🫡
Only downside to this is if you have long hair and sweat a bunch. If you don’t, easy to pull off l suppose.
Plain South Carolina Garnet Tee Shirt
Probably one of the worst single pieces one could wear on gameday. This shirt is probably Champion or some off brand i’ve never heard of. I think Champion, like Carhartt, is now cool and overpriced for the Gen Z’ers.
Not sure there but i am sure that it doesn’t do much to separate you from the everyday sidewalk fans. no worries though, as those days are few and far between within our fanbase as we went from Spurrier calling plays to Roper and eventually Satterfield.
Almost enough for me to want to actually read a Gamecock quidditch article. What’s up snitches!
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Cargo Shorts. Don’t need to type much here but I know Stephen has at least three pairs. Guess if you’re in the media booth they’re great for storage. doubt GamecockScoop has gotten their credentials yet for the booths however.
Shoes.
Stephen is rocking Asics running shoes that match nothing in his wardrobe. Sneakily athletic, do not run routes or throw the ball around the tailgate with him. Often these types can throw the ball a country mile but have little to no accuracy. Occasionally they’ll get lucky on the accuracy part. He might embarass you and you do not want to get shown up by the dude wearing cargos and eyeglasses outdoors with no shade.
Drink Choice
This is where Stephen makes up ground but once again sneakily or accidentally. As he does not really register on the social scales, he copies what his Dad drank. His dad drank Yuengling. Now Yuengling used to be god awful like PbR but they changed the formula to compete with St. louis beers and now make a fine beer. He’s going to show up with an entire case of yuengling to your tailgate that he walked and carried all the way from Bates house to Williams Brice Stadium. Sneaky strong shoulders and arms kind of related to chucking the pickskin around.