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Do you know why the Amish girl was excommunicated?…

Guess she'll be on the move.

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I went to a crazy Amish strip club.​

It was bonnetless.

What's the difference between regular Gatorade and Amish Gatorade?​

Amish Gatorade has no electric-lights.

Finally:

An Amish farmer gets his buggy pulled over by a police man, and as the cop writes the ticket, he is swatting at flies that are swarming him. When he goes to hand the ticket to the farmer, the farmer asks “Having some trouble with ground flies ?”

The officer responds “Yes, but why do you call them ground flies?”
The farmer replies “oh, Ground flies are the flies that swarm horses’ asses.”
The cop replies “Are you calling me a horses ass?”
The farmer says “No. I’m too polite for that. Can’t fool them ground flies though.”
 
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Hope no Amish are reading this thread on their mobile phones
I have met a few Amish and despite their dour face in pictures, in person, one-on-one most have a lively sense of humor. I have been told the joke above about the ground flies is wildly popular with the Amish.
 
From a Barney Miller episode. Caleb Webber is an Amish person who is victim of a crime.


Det. Ron Harris: Telephone number?

Caleb Webber: Ain't got one.

Det. Ron Harris: Social Security number?

Caleb Webber: Ain't got one.

Det. Ron Harris: Driver's License number?

Caleb Webber: Ain't got one.

Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Amish belief prohibits any government affiliation, such as receiving Social Security numbers. It also prohibits the use of any technological device unless its in the Bible right?

[Caleb nods]

Det. Ron Harris: You can't drive a car?

Caleb Webber: No automobiles in the Bible, sir.

Det. Ron Harris: Or go on an airplane?

Caleb Webber: Not in the Bible.

Det. Ron Harris: No movies? No television? No discos? What can you people do?

Caleb Webber: Got 14 kids. That's in the Bible.

 
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