UNC COACH LOSES DUKE’S MAYO BOWL ON PURPOSE TO AVOID MAYONNAISE BATH
As the last seconds ticked away on South Carolina’s 38-21 victory over the Tarheels Mack Brown was seen pumping his fist and wearing an apparent look of relief on his face. “Man I feel so bad for Coach Beamer winning this game because I know he hates mayonnaise as much as I do. I really feel for him and his family”, Brown said in his postgame press conference. UNC was never really in this game and apparently it was by design. “Our game plan was to let those guys run on us at will and generally kick our ass in every phase because man, like I said, I really really hate friggin mayonnaise”, Brown reiterated. “I told our guys at halftime to keep up the shitty run defense. And Sam Howell. What a team player. To go out there in his last game and get his ass sacked time and time again on purpose for me. I love him.” Brown reportedly kept his team unmotivated in the bowl practices by threatening to give every player a mayo bath if they were to go against the game plan and win the game. “Coach actually dipped the footballs in mayonnaise during practice to make us wretch and gag and remind us of our ultimate goal today, which was to lose,” defensive coordinator Jay Bateman said. “I told my boys if Kevin Harris is running at you, act like a rag doll and let him bulldoze your ass.” Mission accomplished. Another masterful coaching job by a living legend. Asked about the direction of the program Coach Brown assured Tarheel Nation, “We’re looking to bigger things here. Our ultimate goal is to get this program to the TaxAct Bowl next year. This coaching staff is wholeheartedly determined to have our taxes done for free next year”
As the last seconds ticked away on South Carolina’s 38-21 victory over the Tarheels Mack Brown was seen pumping his fist and wearing an apparent look of relief on his face. “Man I feel so bad for Coach Beamer winning this game because I know he hates mayonnaise as much as I do. I really feel for him and his family”, Brown said in his postgame press conference. UNC was never really in this game and apparently it was by design. “Our game plan was to let those guys run on us at will and generally kick our ass in every phase because man, like I said, I really really hate friggin mayonnaise”, Brown reiterated. “I told our guys at halftime to keep up the shitty run defense. And Sam Howell. What a team player. To go out there in his last game and get his ass sacked time and time again on purpose for me. I love him.” Brown reportedly kept his team unmotivated in the bowl practices by threatening to give every player a mayo bath if they were to go against the game plan and win the game. “Coach actually dipped the footballs in mayonnaise during practice to make us wretch and gag and remind us of our ultimate goal today, which was to lose,” defensive coordinator Jay Bateman said. “I told my boys if Kevin Harris is running at you, act like a rag doll and let him bulldoze your ass.” Mission accomplished. Another masterful coaching job by a living legend. Asked about the direction of the program Coach Brown assured Tarheel Nation, “We’re looking to bigger things here. Our ultimate goal is to get this program to the TaxAct Bowl next year. This coaching staff is wholeheartedly determined to have our taxes done for free next year”
