OT: Is it sexist for a man to offer a lady his seat /chair

Freddie.B.Cocky

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Jul 19, 2002
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Completely agree. The one common courtesy that I see most often violated by men is when they allow the lady to walk on the streetside.
I was taught that by my mom, also, but not many people even know that is a courtesy even today. When I first did it for my wife, many years ago, she asked me what I was doing. LOL! Example, we were walking down a sidewalk one time and she was on the street side and when realized it I immediately switched sides with her and she asked me why. LOL! But her being a female I guess no one told her a boy / man was suppose to walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
 
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rogue cock

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I was taught that by my mom, also, but not many people even know that is a courtesy even today. When I first did it for my wife, many years ago, she asked me what I was doing. LOL! Example, we were walking down a sidewalk one time and she was on the street side and when realized it I immediately switched sides with her and she asked me why. LOL! But her being a female I guess no one told her a boy / man was suppose to walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
LOL. Yeah, my wife had the same reaction and I had to explain to her why it was a courtesy.
 
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paleoorthocock

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Dec 14, 2004
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My wife, daughter, and I went to a funeral a few years ago. It was probably 30 degrees outside with a very cold wind blowing. The funeral was in a strange kind of glassed in room with doors that were shut in the back part of the cemetery. My wife, daughter, and I were the only three standing outside. Literally no way to squeeze them into the room. The entire back wall of glass had men standing on the inside of it, many of whom turned and looked at us more than once including a few others further in. My wife and daughter were trembling in the cold. To this day if I think about the fact that not a single one of those men stepped out so my wife and daughter could step into the warmth of that room it angers me. I kept debating whether or not to open the door and ask two of the men to please step out so they could step in but the room was small and I feared it would create commotion if they did not want to. Anyway, in that situation I like to think I would have immediately stepped out to let two ladies in had I been on the inside.
 
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atl-cock

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May 3, 2006
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I was taught that by my mom, also, but not many people even know that is a courtesy even today. When I first did it for my wife, many years ago, she asked me what I was doing. LOL! Example, we were walking down a sidewalk one time and she was on the street side and when realized it I immediately switched sides with her and she asked me why. LOL! But her being a female I guess no one told her a boy / man was suppose to walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
It's a courtesy, but I don't think it mandatory, i.e., I don't think a man is supposed to walk street side, nor propose marriage (my wife actually proposed to me), nor pay for all dates. IMO, it's up to the couple themselves to determine what works best for them, and mutual respect is, of course, tantamount.
 

atl-cock

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My wife, daughter, and I went to a funeral a few years ago. It was probably 30 degrees outside with a very cold wind blowing. The funeral was in a strange kind of glassed in room with doors that were shut in the back part of the cemetery. My wife, daughter, and I were the only three standing outside. Literally no way to squeeze them into the room. The entire back wall of glass had men standing on the inside of it, many of whom turned and looked at us more than once including a few others further in. My wife and daughter were trembling in the cold. To this day if I think about the fact that not a single one of those men stepped out so my wife and daughter could step into the warmth of that room it angers me. I kept debating whether or not to open the door and ask two of the men to please step out so they could step in but the room was small and I feared it would create commotion if they did not want to. Anyway, in that situation I like to think I would have immediately stepped out to let two ladies in had I been on the inside.
I would probably have offered to go into the cold for an elderly male rather than a young female in this situation.

I have a distant friend (white) originally from Brooklyn who lived in Dallas in the early 1950s. He was riding a city bus when a black woman came aboard. His immediate reaction was to give up his seat for the woman, but was strongly urged by others not to. He ended up not doing it, but that he still thought about it 60+ years later made an impact on me.

My takeaway today is that I look at a situation more "holistically" rather than sexual. Many of these practices hearken to an era prior to female empowerment. I'll hold the door open for anyone for whom opening a door may prove problematic (e.g., someone carrying a lot of packages), regardless of sex.
 
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Only if she is hot.....just kidding. I will never apologize for holding a door or giving up a seat to the weaker sex. No one has ever called me PC. I would take that as an insult. Lol
 
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Freddie.B.Cocky

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My wife, daughter, and I went to a funeral a few years ago. It was probably 30 degrees outside with a very cold wind blowing. The funeral was in a strange kind of glassed in room with doors that were shut in the back part of the cemetery. My wife, daughter, and I were the only three standing outside. Literally no way to squeeze them into the room. The entire back wall of glass had men standing on the inside of it, many of whom turned and looked at us more than once including a few others further in. My wife and daughter were trembling in the cold. To this day if I think about the fact that not a single one of those men stepped out so my wife and daughter could step into the warmth of that room it angers me. I kept debating whether or not to open the door and ask two of the men to please step out so they could step in but the room was small and I feared it would create commotion if they did not want to. Anyway, in that situation I like to think I would have immediately stepped out to let two ladies in had I been on the inside.
Now that was extremely wrong! My gosh, a couple of men should have offered to step outside to allow your wife and daughter to step inside. Now that would be extremely embarrassing for any man not to have accommodated your wife and daughter unless they were all extremely close to the decreased. And I can't believe that all of them were that close to the decreased.
 
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paleoorthocock

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Now that was extremely wrong! My gosh, a couple of men should have offered to step outside to allow your wife and daughter to step inside. Now that would be extremely embarrassing for any man not to have accommodated your wife and daughter unless they were all extremely close to the decreased. And I can't believe that all of them were that close to the decreased.
Oddly enough, had I let two ladies stand out in the very cold while I stood inside I would fear to tell my mother about it! Lol! My dad instilled that into me, but, honestly, probably moreso my mom. Kind of old school sensibilities with my mom. I recall her once telling me to remove my hat the next time I spoke to a lady.
 

Henry322

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Nov 17, 2005
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I did not know that! What is the reason for that? Just in case there is something wrong with the elevator?
Yep. "It goes back to the old days when elevators weren’t so modern and safe. The man was supposed to get on first to ensure the elevator was working, and more importantly, actually there.

I guess in the old days, the perception was that women would just walk into an empty elevator shaft if a big strong man wasn’t there to save them.

So, the chivalrous will adhere to the “ladies first” when exiting the elevator, but the man should take the lead upon entry to ensure the elevator is safe for other passengers."
 

uscmustwin

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This is an interesting board. On one hand, you have another thread about very short women. I know, it's a play on words, but it's still pretty unusual fare these days. On the other hand, you have this thread, which is so polite. Go figure.
 
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Freddie.B.Cocky

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Yep. "It goes back to the old days when elevators weren’t so modern and safe. The man was supposed to get on first to ensure the elevator was working, and more importantly, actually there.

I guess in the old days, the perception was that women would just walk into an empty elevator shaft if a big strong man wasn’t there to save them.

So, the chivalrous will adhere to the “ladies first” when exiting the elevator, but the man should take the lead upon entry to ensure the elevator is safe for other passengers."
Very interesting and a history lesson in chivalry.
 

Freddie.B.Cocky

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Fun post Freddie, but no one is answering it. You did not ask was it sexist. You asked if it was sexiest. (Pre editing if any). It's definitely "sexiest" to offer your seat to a woman or someone needy because women that actually like men will be impressed by that act.
Have you ever made a typo? Well I have but that was not one of them. LOL! When I type a word and I don't get the red line then to me it's correct. LOL!
 
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The Coup Nazi

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I pumped gas for an elderly lady yesterday and she looked up at me and said your mother must be really proud of you, tell her she did a good job raising you... It was sweet of her to say.. It sounds like your son is a solid young man.. It's refreshing to know that some still teach these values. Gives me hope.
I always pump gas for an elderly person parked next to me at a gas station. Of course I’ve gotten pretty good at switching the hose from their tank to mine.
 
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whythis28

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I'd be surprised if anyone would hear you offer. Most people today are messaging, updating status', listening through ear buds or just too zoned out to even realize what's going on.

I've seen people walk into poles, signs, chairs, trash cans or other people.

But there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a warm-fuzzy.

I too have seen the Liberty Mutual commercials.
 

Cockyfan97

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if there are no other seats/chairs available in a given setting? I would like to see a lot of our lady posters respond.

This was a topic of discuss on the Michael Strahan and (whoever his co-host is) show the other day. I didn't get to hear all the comments but was just wondering in this world of extreme PC we live in today what is considered good manners? I want to say Strahan said he wouldn't offer his seat to a younger woman but again I didn't get to listen to the comments.

I have always offer my seat / chair to a woman when there are no other seats available, just because it was considered good manners and that was the way I was taught many many years ago.

But is it considered sexiest TODAY for a man to offer his seat/chair to a woman?

EDIT: Yes, I misspelled sexist and have since corrected the misspelling. If I don't get a red line I just go with whatever I typed. LOL!
Women are completely equal to men, so they should have no problem catching these hands if they deserve it. Equal rights means equal lefts, Batman put it best when he said “the fist of justice doesn’t discriminate.”
 
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Cockyfan97

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She taught me to respect and be polite everybody. GentleMEN should take care of themselves!
My uncle has cancer, and if you didn’t give him your seat because “he can take care of himself” I’d kick your ass and let him hit you with his cane after
 
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Palmetto Golf

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My uncle has cancer, and if you didn’t give him your seat because “he can take care of himself” I’d kick your ass and let him hit you with his cane after
I am sorry to hear about your uncle but you are more than welcome to give that ass kicking a try any time you want!!!
 

Jpcooper

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if there are no other seats/chairs available in a given setting? I would like to see a lot of our lady posters respond.

This was a topic of discuss on the Michael Strahan and (whoever his co-host is) show the other day. I didn't get to hear all the comments but was just wondering in this world of extreme PC we live in today what is considered good manners? I want to say Strahan said he wouldn't offer his seat to a younger woman but again I didn't get to listen to the comments.

I have always offer my seat / chair to a woman when there are no other seats available, just because it was considered good manners and that was the way I was taught many many years ago.

But is it considered sexiest TODAY for a man to offer his seat/chair to a woman?

EDIT: Yes, I misspelled sexist and have since corrected the misspelling. If I don't get a red line I just go with whatever I typed. LOL!
I myself appreciate it. I appreciate the opening and holding of doors and the many things young men were taught to have manners and show ladies a little more courtesy
 
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atl-cock

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I myself appreciate it. I appreciate the opening and holding of doors and the many things young men were taught to have manners and show ladies a little more courtesy
I think perhaps there is too much emphasis on "how to treat a lady" and not enough emphasis on overall manners. Help someone who needs help, regardless of sex. I concur with my wife, whose rule of thumb is that if she reaches the door first, she'll hold it for others in the group.
 

ansoncock

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Never offer your seat to a woman who is a feminist, or one who would consider it an insult or chauvinistic.