OT: Dating a midget. Advice needed, because I don't want to have a bunch of drama in my life.
- Thread starter jsusc
- Start date
I always wanted to date a midget! I just imagined how big I would look in those tiny little hands!
He didn’t say the midget was his sister.
Am I the only one yearning for an update if the OP went to see Bridget? I'm going to pretend that's her name until OP says otherwise.
Like I said on Friday, I went down to her place and wound up staying that night and Saturday. Mostly helped her pack up a bunch of stuff, but also went out. Sitting in a bar with a bawdy midget doing Fireball shots and Lemon Drops and having to tap out made me feel kind of small, but I’m a lightweight drinker. She asked me directly about staying with me until she fond a place and I told her I would have to ask my landlord about it. I really don’t have to, but I need a couple of more days to think about it. Most of my neighbors are cool and I don’t think they’d mind or even notice her, but there are a couple of busybodies that would likely frown upon me living in sin with a midget. Then there’s my dog to consider. He’s never lived with anyone but me and he’s nearly 80 pounds. I don’t need him looking at her as prey. But something's got to give.
Would she slip in under the radar?
Put her in a suitcase and carry her in. Noone would know she's there.
My wife asked me yesterday what the lastest update was on this thread. I was disappointed that I didn’t have an update to give
I re-read the thread and started laughing all over again. This is the funniest thread EVER in the history of FGF!
What timing..look who is in town?????im thinking about going...good job opportunity for the OP lady friend.from his description,she might fit in..
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/extrememidgetwrestling/327835/
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/extrememidgetwrestling/327835/
https://battlebuddy4life.org/
Did a little research and I found this out.didnt know this was near me..don’t know if any proceeds will go to them but I’m sure it will(rent of the place)...
According to the directions,it’s a house,it might be a little small for such a event..I would think they would do a killing at a gym etc..
Did a little research and I found this out.didnt know this was near me..don’t know if any proceeds will go to them but I’m sure it will(rent of the place)...
According to the directions,it’s a house,it might be a little small for such a event..I would think they would do a killing at a gym etc..
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This thread is what happens between football and basketball season ... after a disappointing football season, and your hopes for the basketball team has taken a serious hit (Stetson)!
What did the Dwarf say when a tall hooker walked by?
High hoe, high hoe!
or
Nice beard?
High hoe, high hoe!
or
Nice beard?
A dwarf walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey
The brothel keeper asks how she could help him. He replies "I need a woman, because mine has left me."
Brothel Keeper: Why? Also what's with the honeycomb and the donkey?
Dwarf: My wife found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first she asked for a home fit for a queen, so he gave her this honeycomb. The second, she asked for the nicest ass in all of the seven kingdoms, so he gave her this lovely donkey...
Brothel Keeper: What's the third wish?
Dwarf: She asked the genie to make my cock hang down past my knees.
Brothel Keeper: Wow that's not so bad
Dwarf: Not so bad? I used to be 6 foot 3!
The brothel keeper asks how she could help him. He replies "I need a woman, because mine has left me."
Brothel Keeper: Why? Also what's with the honeycomb and the donkey?
Dwarf: My wife found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first she asked for a home fit for a queen, so he gave her this honeycomb. The second, she asked for the nicest ass in all of the seven kingdoms, so he gave her this lovely donkey...
Brothel Keeper: What's the third wish?
Dwarf: She asked the genie to make my cock hang down past my knees.
Brothel Keeper: Wow that's not so bad
Dwarf: Not so bad? I used to be 6 foot 3!
I wasn’t going to say anything about it right now. She came to stay at my place on Saturday, and I thought we had a good day that day and Sunday. The fact is we did fornicate a few times, which was more because of her than me. I was trying to be a gentleman. Naturally, I thoroughly enjoyed it and because of easily obtainable internet porn I thought I had a good handle on the situation.
Then, Sunday night, out of the blue, she tells me she is going to try to find a place by the end of the week, that she doesn’t think it will work out between us as a couple. After she kept saying she just thinks we shoiuld be friends I finally get her to tell me the truth. She doesn’t think we can satisfy each other sexually, which I know what that really means. She finally said that she needed someone bigger, which is no surprise considering her damn midget cooter has seen more traffic than Bluff Road on a football Saturday. I’m not ashamed to post this either, because I don’t claim to be Ron Jeremy, but an average sized pecker should be enough to satisfy a midget unless her vag has a turnstile. I didn’t hear any complaints when I was DATY.
I knew this whole situation was a mistake, but I did it anyway, but I’m not going to allow her to keep abusing my apparently underwhelming ding a ling until she finds something else. Of course if I say something then WW 2 ½ will start.
And I’ll tell you something else and all of you know it’s true whether you admit it or not. Women get away with murder with this whole small penis thing. Like, they can say that about a dude and his reputation is ruined. Well maybe it isn’t the guy that’s small, maybe it’s the girl that has a missile silo between her legs. How about that? Where’s the repercussions for that?! But yeah, tell me how I’m the villain just because I can get the Froot Loops off the refrigerator without using a broom handle.
Then, Sunday night, out of the blue, she tells me she is going to try to find a place by the end of the week, that she doesn’t think it will work out between us as a couple. After she kept saying she just thinks we shoiuld be friends I finally get her to tell me the truth. She doesn’t think we can satisfy each other sexually, which I know what that really means. She finally said that she needed someone bigger, which is no surprise considering her damn midget cooter has seen more traffic than Bluff Road on a football Saturday. I’m not ashamed to post this either, because I don’t claim to be Ron Jeremy, but an average sized pecker should be enough to satisfy a midget unless her vag has a turnstile. I didn’t hear any complaints when I was DATY.
I knew this whole situation was a mistake, but I did it anyway, but I’m not going to allow her to keep abusing my apparently underwhelming ding a ling until she finds something else. Of course if I say something then WW 2 ½ will start.
And I’ll tell you something else and all of you know it’s true whether you admit it or not. Women get away with murder with this whole small penis thing. Like, they can say that about a dude and his reputation is ruined. Well maybe it isn’t the guy that’s small, maybe it’s the girl that has a missile silo between her legs. How about that? Where’s the repercussions for that?! But yeah, tell me how I’m the villain just because I can get the Froot Loops off the refrigerator without using a broom handle.
I didn't think this thread could possibly get better. I'd bet there's not another sports forum anywhere on the net where you can read about a guy whose penis isn't big enough to satisfy a midget.
OP, see if she wants to come stay in gray court. Our job market is booming in the county and close to big jobs for any sized persons in the Greenville/Spartanburg area too. 
Also, thank you and all those that have contributed to this masterpiece. Y’all the real mvp’s
Also, thank you and all those that have contributed to this masterpiece. Y’all the real mvp’sWTF ??? I just had to click on this thread right before crashing for the night and now I’m invested !! I’ve done some absolutely crazy s#%t in my day but you got me on this one . When I was Young I did eat a bunch of Acid and went to a Phish show and every where I went in this 35000 seat arena I kept running into this “Hippie Midget”. I thought maybe I was just tripping my face off but my friend said they saw him too . I kept calling him Frodo which was a pretty asshole thing to do . He didn’t seem to mind .
I absolutely KNOW that this is just a troll/joke account and the OP is just entertaining himself here, but I love it.
I couldn't agree more. I find myself coming to this site everyday just to follow this midget soap opera.
Man, I wish it were. No, unfortunately it is too real. I’ve been here since 2004. I think I’m the one being trolled by God. There was a blowup this morning.
And tell me how this is fair. So this morning I tell her that since she wants to be out by the end of the week that maybe it’d be a good idea for her to get a hotel and that she could even leave her stuff at my place until she finds one of her own. She gets mad and tells me that she will tell everybody where I work why I got fired from my last job. Hell, I don’t care! I won’t lose my job for a mistake I made at my last one. Then she goes into the drawer on my coffee table where I keep all of my old football ticket stubs, and I’m talking some that are decades old, and just throws them everywhere across the room, then she tears one that turned out to be from the 2006 Liberty Bowl. Where am I supposed to get another 2006 Liberty Bowl ticket signed by Tyrone Nix?
Then sh e wants to play really dirty and point at my crotch and smirk and say that if I wasn’t hung like a horse...a seahorse...which, I have to give it to her, that is a pretty good burn….that we wouldn’t be having the discussion. So I told her that if her vagina wasn’t big enough to trap a Thai soccer team that we wouldn’t be having the discussion and that if it and her height were in proportion she’d be taller than Manute Bol. After that she went to MY bedroom with MY dog and locked the door. She was probably trying to Google Manute Bol.
She finally left for work not long ago and called me awhile later like nothing happened and asked if I wanted her to bring something for dinner. I told her that'd be fine, but I'm not going to eat food brought to me by an unstable midget that thinks she's been wronged. If she starts some trouble about that then I might just call the law. I don't need this.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
No fun when the relationship is cut short.
I'd suggest you tell her how you really feel, but it would probably just go right over her head.
